GRADE: C

A Tim Burton movie starring Johnny Depp? Say what? Of course I’m kidding, because this is not the first time this pair has collaborated with one another — not to mention another Burton regular Danny Elfman scoring Dark Shadows and Helena Bonham Carter also being in the mix. All the familiar sights and sounds were there, but towards the end I was just hoping it would end quickly. All the cards on the table, I am not a big fan of Tim Burton anyway. He’s just not my type of storyteller. Even aside from this obvious bias, Dark Shadows is not a very good movie — most of all because I could not buy into or care for Depp’s Barnabas Collins, his plight, or any of the other supporting cast members.

The stunning Eva Green stars as the conniving witch Angelique who goes crazy when Barnabas will not return her love. She uses her dark magic to kill Barnabas’ true love, his parents, she haunts his family, she overtakes the Collins’ fishing business, and worst of all, she makes Depp’s character even pastier by turning him into a vampire and locking him in a steel coffin for centuries — he eventually breaks free in the 1970′s awaking in an era he is completely unfamiliar with. This led to some comical proceedings, but Barnabas’ fish-out-of-water antics grew old far too quickly. His plight to get revenge on Eva Green’s manipulative character didn’t carry much weight either, despite their chemistry onscreen together — the story and all its unfolding pieces were tired.

The film had a strong supporting cast in Jackie Earle Haley, Chloë Grace Moretz, Helena Bonham Carter, Jonny Lee Miller, and Michelle Pfeiffer. Even amidst all these notable names, none really brought anything of worth to the table minus Haley. His role was humorous and one of the few bright spots in the aforementioned ‘blah’ supporting cast.

The biggest downfall of Dark Shadows came from Barnabas trying ever so desperately to win the heart of the Collins family nanny. Despite the film dedicating so much time to this storyline, there was no heart in the proceedings, I felt no drive to will them together as an audience member. The pair had no chemistry, a stark contrast from Barnabas and the film’s antagonist Angelique. Even with the conflict between the two, the odd couple had some of the best scenes in the movie together — not to mention one of the absolute worst sex scenes I’ve ever seen.

Overall, Dark Shadows may please die-hard Burton fans who blindly follow his work, but I even doubt they will be pleased. For the rest of us, this comes off as another disappointment, something that has become more common in recent Burton flicks. The film lacks a sense of humanity to make us care about the characters and lacks chemistry between Depp’s character and his depicted love. Again, I’ve never been a fan of Burton’s work (except for Big Fish) and this film is another example why — overly pasty white people, a trivial story intertwined with dark elements and images mixed with a light-hearted Elfman soundtrack does nothing for me.

What Should You Do? Skip this one in the theater. If you’re really curious, wait for the rental.

Follow Matthew on Twitter: @matthewdeery

The first trailer for Tim Burton’s Dark Shadows came out last night. As I was about to watch it, I was not excited at all for another Johnny Depp, Helena B. Carter, Tim Burton flick. But I watched anyways because I wanted to get a feel for this movie and gauge if it was going to suck. I was pleasantly surprised. It looks very good.

Here is the trailer for Dark Shadows.

Finally, a Tim Burton movie that I can be excited for. The last one I was pumped about was probably Big Fish in 2005. But it appears that Burton has let go of trying to capture an epic fantasy tale with nothing but CGI, which usually ends up being a massive mess. There’s a simplicity in this preview that reminds me of older Burton flicks. I can tell there was not a green screen in every shot, which is very satisfying. Dark Shadows appears to weigh more on it’s unusual story than trying to draw you in with massive amounts of visual effects.

The also cast feels very natural. Johnny Depp was a shoe-in for the lead role. He has a very unique and specific style of inflection when he’s trying to be funny. And with the character of Barnabas Collins, it seems to fit just fine. While we only caught short glimpses of Helena Carter, it was a very hot Eva Green and Michelle Pfeiffer who took over the female leads in the trailer.

Overall, the film looks funny and promising. I’m not one to get excited for Tim Burton flicks, but I can honestly say that I will see this one opening weekend. Dark Shadows is set to be released on May 11th.

Are You Excited For Dark Shadows?

Follow Josh on Twitter: @JWingface

With Edward Scissorhands’ release two decades ago, emerged an unstoppable partnership. Since 1990, Johnny Depp and Tim Burton have created beautifully dark productions that never disappoint audiences. Now, the artistic duo is teaming up again to film Dark Shadows, scheduled for release in 2013. The kicker? Even Depp and Burton have jumped on the vampire bandwagon.

In Dark Shadows, Depp will play a vampire who emerges into present day after spending decades sealed in his coffin. His character pretends to be a family cousin, visiting Maine from England. According to Daytime Confidential, Depp commented on his new film at the promotion of Alice in Wonderland. He said, “Tim and I have tossed the idea for Dark Shadows over the years. It was a TV program in the States in the late 60s and early 70s that I remember watching as a kid. I was obsessed with this character, Barnabas Collins, who was a vampire. I came to find out many years later that when he was a kid, Tim ran home like I did to watch that Gothic soap opera. It was a very strange thing back then. We looked at ways to go, story-wise. We’ve started to come up with something interesting.”

For all of you Twilight-haters out there, give this one a chance. If the flick’s anything like the last two decades of the pair’s work, it will be satisfyingly dark instead of high school drama-filled. I know the teenybopper vampire trend is getting old, but Depp and Burton never disappoint.

What Do You Think? Discuss.

What else would you expect? Director Tim Burton has created some of the weirdest, trippiest, bizarre and visually- stunning worlds in cinematic history, but it looks like his newest film is going to take the cake.  It’s been in the making for some time, but USA Today finally has our first glance at Burton’s interpretation of Alice In Wonderland. The featured concept art photo above is of Alice, played by relative newcomer Mia Wasikowska (Defiance), standing in a garden of talking flowers, at the entrance of a giant mushroom forest. After countless film adaptations of the historic Lewis Carroll novels Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking-Glass, it appears as if Burton’s adaptation will be the strangest yet. As if that even seemed possible.

The next concept art photo is of Alice and the famous pair of Tweedledee and Tweedledum. In the photo below, the Tweedle twins are about to take Alice to see the Mad Hatter, played of course by Burton’s muse, Johnny Depp. Now again this is not an actual set photo, but finalized concept art conveying Burton’s vision. The Tweedle twins are among the first to greet Alice in the film and will be created through motion-capture technology. The Tweedles will be played by British comic Matt Lucas, from Comedy Central’s Krod Mandoon and The Flaming Sword of Fire. Check it out.

Probably the most-bizarre image that has been revealed, which more concretely displays Burton’s strange vision are the images of the main characters. Below is an image of three of the first promo banners for Alice In Wonderland. One is of Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter, one is of Helena Bonham Carter as the Red Queen and the last is of Anne Hathaway as the White Queen. These banners will start popping up in theaters across the country during the next couple weeks. Check it.

Now that is some crazy shit. It would appear to be a walk in the park role for Depp. If he throws in a pinch of Willie Wonka, a dash of Hunter S. Thompson and a smidgon of Jack Sparrow, he could no doubt create a unique and memorable interpretation of the Mad Hatter. Depp looks creepy as fuck. And is it just me or does he king of look like a cross between, Madonna, The Joker and Carrot Top? Either way I am eagerly anticipating the meticulous physical quirks and voice inflection that he has created for this character. The middle banner is of Burton’s female muse, Helena Bonham Carter as the evil Red Queen, who has a bobble-head thing going on, which is pretty cool. She does a fantastic job at playing bizarre, creepy, evil fantasy villains, as she’s displayed over the last few years as Bellatrix Lestrange in the Harry Potter films. She’ll bring that same intensity to the Red Queen. Finally we have the beautiful and sublime Anne Hathaway as the White Queen, who will no doubt bring her aggressive tenderness to the character.

With this bizarre and beautiful vision, the crazy concept art photos and these insane character banners, you’d think that nothing else could be done to this film to make it more appealing or…well… INSANE! Right? Well, I forgot to mention that the movie is being filmed for IMAX 3D. Yeah. Say what you will about the “over-use” of 3D recently, but to see this film in 3D of any kind, makes it not only a must-see movie experience, it makes it a drug.

What Do You Think? Discuss.