Of course, being a movie website, The Movie Mash has to have a follow up to the 83rd Oscars ceremony that took place last night. First things first, by a show of hands, who thinks Kirk Douglas should host the Oscars next year? Wouldn’t that be a lovely five-and-a-half-hour ceremony with Douglas rambling on quietly and sometimes incoherently. If he lives until next year, he has my vote, because he can’t possibly fair worse than Hathaway and Franco playing the hosts. This year’s Oscars was watched by four million less people than last year.

Hathaway portrayed an aura of enthusiasm while Franco seemed like he was backstage with Michael Phelps tag teaming a bong. The younger duo was asked to host the Oscars to appeal to the younger audiences. Mission failed. The coveted 18-49 demographic was down 12% from last year’s viewership. But really, I don’t care about the whole procession of the Oscars. I really just care about the winners and the beautiful women in all their fancy dresses.

Not caring about all the hoopla, I usually just watch pieces of the ceremony as I channel surf and get the breakdown from the web later on. It is hard for me to ingest all the garbage the Academy puts out like the musical numbers, annoying hosts (even Billy Crystal is irritating), and the constant question, “Who are you wearing?” I am more of a highlights guy. Give me the big moments, the winners, and the slideshow of the dames in their dresses.

Don’t think for one minute this is me undervaluing the importance of the awards themselves, because that is not the case. Winning an Academy Award is a huge thing, just don’t expect me to sit through this long formulaic song and dance. However, on Sunday a different side of me was present. Even though I was slightly disengaged doing some homework on my laptop, I watched almost the entire Oscars Award Show. I had a blast on Twitter, tweeting away with millions of others while watching the show. Believe it or not, I even watched the lead up to the show where it was everything ‘Red Carpet.’ Like I said, I love the women in their evening gowns.

This year brought happiness on so many fronts, and utter disappointment on so many others. First off, let’s start off with the finer points in the show.

• Christian Bale, finally, he got one of those little golden statues he has deserved for so many years as one of Hollywood’s versatile and elite acting talents. He transformed himself in every regard to pull off Dicky Ecklund in The Fighter. Cheers! Now let this Oscar award push you to absolutely flourish in your send off to Bruce Wayne in The Dark Knight Rises.

• I was relieved to see Natalie Portman taking home gold as well for her mesmerizing work in Black Swan. Of course she was the front runner, but I was nervous she wouldn’t win the statue she truly deserved.

• Shout out to my boy Aaron Sorkin for winning Best Adapted Screenplay for his brilliant script for The Social Network. I look up to Sorkin a lot as an aspiring screenwriter, and him winning his first Oscar was inspiring. One thing that I find especially compelling in cinema is the ability to move people with dialogue, and Sorkin is a master at it. Need proof? Watch The Social Network or A Few Good Men (You can’t handle the truth!).

• Wally Pfister, one of the best cinematographers in the game taking home gold for his work on Christopher Nolan’s Inception. Obviously he had to be nominated because of the camera work involved in this film, but word on the street leading up to the ceremony was True Grit‘s cinematographer Roger Deakins was a lock to win. Consider me tickled pink when Wally Pfister was announced the winner. My question is: How did Pfister win Best Cinematographer and Nolan not even get nominated for Best Director?

• Of course Inception has to win Best Sound Mixing, Best Sound Editing, and Best Visual Effects. The movie would not have been nearly the same without top notch efforts in all these categories. Wait, how did Nolan not get nominated for Best Director?

• The Social Network, one of my favorites of the year, won the Oscar for Best Editing. Of course it did right? Have you seen The Social Network? The film jumps around on the time line making it less than simple to keep up. But think about how confusing it really could have been without superb editing. Also have to give props to Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross for winning Best Score, but more on that later.

• Toy Story 3, duh.

• Mila Kunis. My word is she gorgeous. I am a gentleman who is spoken for, but I am just saying.

Ok, on to the heartbreak that came from this year’s Oscars. Most of it stems from Inception getting snubbed in some very important categories.

• As you heard me ask earlier, “How did Christoper Nolan not get nominated for Best Director?” Seriously, Tom Hooper wins for directing The King’s Speech? I stated in our Oscars Podcast that I felt Hooper was the least deserving out of the nominees. The King’s Speech had many beautiful and breathtaking shots in it, but come on, it was a dialogue-fest. There was no real innovation in Hooper’s work. There wasn’t anything groundbreaking. Hmmm… what film that came out this year fits that description? Inception comes to mind. I am not trying to disrespect Hooper (though it obviously is me disrespecting Hooper calling him unworthy of the award), but Hooper really did not do anything substantial to deserve the title.

• Again with the Best Director, David Fincher was the most deserving among the nominees for his effort with The Social Network. While I believe Nolan should have won, he wasn’t even nominated. Fincher did the most with the pages of his script to make his dialogue-laden film come to life. I want to reiterate that I loved The King’s Speech, but the Best Director in 2010 was not Tom Hooper.

• Continuing on with the Inception snubs is The King’s Speech once again taking something it did not deserve. The period piece took the Oscar for Best Original screenplay written by David Seidler. Come on, how could you not give Nolan this one? You can snub him on Best Director, but this too? I bet even talented screenwriters could not have written a more coherent screenplay. It was detailed, yet vague; telling, yet open to interpretation. Seidler took historical events and turned it into a drama. Christopher Nolan made this shit up in his head! How? Why? Inception losing Best Original Screenplay to  The King’s Speech is like Lindsay Lohan winning her most recent court case. It should never happen. BEST ORIGINAL… how can it get more original than Inception?

• Ok, last rant defending Inception. This one is less heated because I feel Reznor and Ross were deserving recipients of the award for Best Score. I was happy to see the pair win, but at the same time deflated Hans Zimmer did not win for his triumphant achievement that is his work for Inception. You ever feeling down? Type Inception score into the YouTube search bar and listen to the ‘Dream is Collapsing.’ That’ll get you so jacked up you’ll want to go rob a bank.

• Ugh, Randy Newman won an award. I despise Randy Newman. He wrote the opening theme song for the show Monk, a show my fiancé watches on Netflix religiously, and I go days at a time with his annoying voice singing in my head. “It’s a jungle out there…” For days on end, this retarded song, I hate you Randy Newman!

• I was hoping Exit Through the Gift Shop would win Best Documentary so we could get a look at the infamous Banksy on stage. Most likely he would have worn a disguise, because his identity is secret; but wouldn’t it have been awesome to see him in a monkey mask standing next to Oprah? Looks like I need to get out and see the Best Documentary Winner Inside Job.

Well, thus concludes my thoughts on the 83rd Oscars. Pieces of my rant may sound like I am a die-hard fan boy, but honestly, that is not the case. Of course I love Nolan and his films, but if he made a crappy film I’d be the first to say it. I don’t truly believe Inception deserved Best Picture. I would have loved to see it win the prestigious award though, because it was one of the year’s best. But for the Academy to snub the Nolan product in the ways it did this year was disconcerting, disheartening, and downright wrong.

What Did You Guys Think Of This Year’s Winners & Losers?