In this edition of Trailer Trash MASH, as the headline says, we have some sickness and some not-so sickness. I’ll start off with the sickness as the not-so sickness contains some inappropriate descriptions for the main page. Anyway, first up we have the latest epic vision from Oscar-winner and Lord of the Rings director Peter Jackson. This is Jackson’s first film since 2005′s King Kong and tackles much heavier and more emotional themes than Orcs and giant apes; that being the murder of a young girl and the mysteries of the afterlife. The film is The Lovely Bones and  I posted some of the first pics that were released way back in April. The best-selling novel of the same title was released in 2002, written by author Alice Sebold. It is the story of a teenage girl who, after being brutally raped and murdered, watches from heaven as her family and friends go on with their lives, and her father (Wahlberg) who desperately tries to track down the killer.

Pretty heavy stuff Mr. Jackson. The novel received a great deal of critical praise and became an instant best-seller. An undeniably intriguing concept to go along with an A-list cast. Jackson has Mark Wahlberg, Rachel Weisz and Susan Sarandon portraying the grieving  family of the deceased young girl, who is being played by Saorise Ronan from Atonement. Veteran character actor Stanley Tucci has the task of playing the murdering-rapist, who looks absolutely creepy as hell (watch for the scene where he hears someone in his house and looks up). Eeeooowww (shivers)…very chilling. And the awesome Michael Imperioli (The Sopranos) plays the detective working the case.

The film looks absolutely stunning. If I am not mistaken, this is the first MAJOR film that centers around a massively-scaled depiction of heaven since What Dreams May Come in 1998 starring Robin Williams and Cuba Gooding Jr. I applaud Mr. Jackson for taking a break from monsters and creatures, to channel his gift of creating epic, visionary worlds, into one that deals with real-life human issues. I always considered Jackson a big-time director, but after watching several interviews with him at Comic-Con, I am just so impressed with the dedication he puts into his projects, as well as the passion and childlike wonder he has for movies. This film is now officially on my radar and I am eagerly anticipating its release this December. Check out the first official trailer for Peter Jackson’s The Lovely Bones.

Up next is, of course, is the not-so sickness and it’s actually really disappointing. Aaahhh,the infamous Tucker Max. The self-proclaimed douche-bag, “tang-slayer” and former Duke law student who unveiled a world of depravity and hilarity in 2006 with his best-selling story book, I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell. The book was on the NY Times Best-Seller list for three years and contains some of the grossest and most hysterically outrageous situations ever put on paper. I am of course talking about his numerous drunken/sexual escapades that usually have him running through a hotel lobby squirting diarrhea everywhere. So inevitably, it was going to be adapted into a feature film.

I read I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell on a 7-hour plane ride from London last summer and I couldn’t stop laughing and/or making an “Eeewww” face. People bitch about his disgusting way of life, but he himself, calls himself…a douchebag. So at least he’s not pretending to be something he’s not. I am, however, completely disappointed with the awful film adaptation that they’ve concocted. MySpace posted the first official trailer for I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell and it…Is…TERRIBLE. It looks like every straight-to-DVD American Pie or National Lampoon’s flick from the past eight years (Gold Diggers and the Dorm Daze franchise come to mind). Tucker Max is played by some idiot named Matt Czuchry from Gilmore Girls and Friday Night Lights TV fame, and comes off as utterly annoying. They could have picked someone much more charismatic to play Tucker. Heck, I would have been happier with Ashton Kutcher.

This movie looks like a Van Wilder wannabe and I am just so embarrassed for Tucker Max, who also wrote the screenplay, because the uniqueness of his tales are what should set this film apart from every other fratty movie since the beginning of time.   The film is SET to open in October, but if I was a betting man, I’d say look out for I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell to be “released” at your local Blockbuster and not in theaters nationwide. Just a hunch. Anyway, here’s the trailer from MySpace via SlashFilm.

What Do You Think? Discuss.